A Diagnosis of ADHD Isn't the End of the World.

         My oldest child and I are alike in so many ways. Being so alike, however causes us to butt heads because we know how to get under each other's skin. But because he's a lot like me, I am also able to understand a little bit about how he's feeling, what can cause him to get angry, or how to handle a situation so it doesn't blow up in his face. I've been there, I've reacted the same way.

Last year, my son was having a difficult time in school. I was called into the office almost every day because the school wasn't able to handle him. On one particular afternoon, I decided enough was enough and demanded to have a meeting with my son's teacher, the principal, and the social worker who works at the school. I threw down my gauntlet and told them that things needed to be changed. The principal (who had been a huge butt kisser) got called away for something and when she was gone, I asked the social worker, "Do you think that there is a chance that my son has ADHD or some version of it?" and he said, "I think there's a big possibility that he does." With help from the social worker, we were able to have the school psychologist come in and assess my son. She gave his present teacher, his teacher from last year, his case worker from this year and last, the social worker, and my husband and I a questionnaire to fill out. From the questionnaire, we found out that he had traits of a child with ADHD and varying degrees of anxiety- probably because he wasn't able to learn the way that a focused child could learn.

          Right after we reconvened, we all talked about the next steps. I changed my children's primary care physician to one who would be able to make appointments and specialized in ADHD in children. We met with the physician and she was impressed by the actions we took and our involvement with getting a diagnosis. She didn't have to do an assessment because we had one right there with us from the people who see him everyday. She told us that most children only get one done through their parents and because we did it the way we did with others involved, the questionnaire wasn't biased in anyway. She talked to us about options and recommended that we do medication. She spoke to us about the side effects and what each medicine would do for him.

          She also asked a question that surprised us. She asked, "Do either one of you lean towards ADHD tendencies?"
          My husband looked to me and I raised my hand. "I do."
         "It's very common that children who have ADHD have a parent who also carries that trait. Have you been diagnosed?"
         "No."
         "You should. I have ADHD, too and there is such a difference when I'm on the medication then when I'm off. I'm more focused and don't forget everything and can finish a sentence without getting distracted."
          "Maybe I can clean my house and it won't look like a hoarder moved in before it's clean because I can actually focus on one task."
          "Exactly!"

        So.... We started my son on medication. It was an extreme ride between convincing my son to take it, trying the different dosages to find one that works, waiting for refill dates to approach, fights with the insurance company to approve a dose that worked best, and so on and so forth. We eventually found it, the perfect dose. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions. One of our biggest fights with our son was trying to get him to take his pill. His gag reflex was in overdrive and the only way that we could get him to take it was to open the capsule and pour it into some applesauce. If we didn't ask her if it was ok, she wouldn't researched it to find out that it was and our fight for something better would have resumed.

       His teacher said that he's a model student when he takes it. He still participated in class and is still extremely creative. He is still him, but more focused. We had worried that when we gave him the medicine, he would disappear. The doctor and the social worker, who also has ADHD, assured us that medication is different from years ago. It is made now so children don't go bonkers or be plain and boring. It's designed to work with your child's brain so they can focus and that's it. They will still be creative and be themselves. It was a relief to see that it was true. In fact, I think it made my son even more creative because he could focus on the task at hand.

        Do you remember when I said that my son and I are alike in many ways? It's very true, but there is one thing that is different, besides the fact that I'm 30 and a girl while he's 8 and a boy; ADHD is more difficult to diagnose for girls. When I was younger and even in college, I had a tough time remembering to do my homework and also had anger/behavioral issues. I just looked like a lazy, bad kid, kind of like how my wonderful son was perceived, but really, those are just common issues with kids with ADHD. My son has gotten the chance to be able to learn and get good grades. He's able to control his frustration with change and gets to be a model student. I didn't have that option because ADHD was still sort of a new concept and a question was never raised about me having it. I recognize it now as I'm older and I watch my son. I used to play house with my pencils and during math, my numbers were assigned genders and I daydreamed all of the time. I never remembered homework until the teacher asked us to turn it in. It took me longer to learn to read than other kids, but once it clicked, I loved to read and I love to write. I still jump around from point to point and when I clean my house, you can't tell because I don't focus on one room, I jump from one task to another. I have to make a point to get working and focus my energy on getting things done. Inviting people to my house is a big motivation.

        Having my child diagnosed with ADHD wasn't the end of the world. It was actually a relief. It gave me some answers and now I know that my child's poor behavior wasn't because I was raising him wrong, it was because of his biology and thankfully, there is something that we can do for him. He's going to be able to learn better and behave better because he's going to be able to focus. He's not going to get frustrated every time a subject is changed or something out of the norm or unexpected happens. He's going to be able to adjust to things and he's going to be able to succeed because he doesn't have the lack of focus holding him back.

       Don't be afraid to advocate for your child. If you suspect that your child has a mental block of any sort, don't be discouraged. Learn about it and start looking for ways to help. Medicating your child doesn't mean that you're a bad parent, and having your child on medication doesn't mean that they are broken or that you've done anything wrong. Biology happens and in my case, I am probably the parent who gave my child that gene, but with support, great things can happen now that we know.

Getting Turned Away

     I knew that it could happen, but it has never happened to me before. My son had a dentist appointment today. They were going to put him under so they could fill a couple of his teeth (one hazard of nursing your child for over a year).  In order for them to do that, they wanted us there at 8:00 AM so he would be sleepy or sleeping by 8:30.

     I've driven to this office before. The first time that I drove there, I was an hour early for the appointment. This time, however, I arrived at 8:30, in time for the actual scheduled appointment, but they turned me away because they said it could take 30 minutes for him to fall asleep and it would put them behind schedule. It didn't matter that I had already driven an hour and a half to get there. It didn't matter to them that the appointment was scheduled at 8:30 and that there was no one at the desk when I first came in and had to wait an extra 5 minutes saying, "Hello?" They didn't care because it was going to put them behind.

      I try not to get angry for things like this, but boy did I get angry. My drive was only supposed to take 40 minutes at most. It did not. For some reason, my GPS thought it would take me away from the road construction that was happening and instead, I had to wait for trains to pass, lights to turn green, and average morning traffic. I have only used this GPS one other time and used it this time because my husband told me that it had never steered him wrong.... I could have screamed, and I definitely yelled in my car and thumped my head against the seat each time I got held up at another stop light. If it could have gone wrong, it did.

      If I was there early and had to wait because another person showed up late, I would be upset, but I would understand. If I was a business and I knew that someone was coming from way out of town, which they did, I might have tried to work something out in a way better than they did today. It took me an hour and a half to drive there and I made it back home in 40 minutes. The traffic was the same. It wasn't like I was unprepared. I left earlier than my gps and mapquest said to leave, but it didn't matter.

     You know, many, many years ago and man and his pregnant fiancé were travelling to get their taxes done. They were going at the pace that they were allowed to go in their condition and they were turned away several times. There wasn't any room in any of the inns and they actually had to find a place to stay in a stable with the horses and animals. This woman was very pregnant and ended up having her baby next to some cows or horses. The place was a cesspool for germs and probably smelled awful. Despite all that, they were grateful and they were used to fulfill a prophecy about a man who would die for our sins. When it's put that way, I guess that getting turned away isn't so terrible.

      Maybe we were supposed to get there late today. My whole household has been sick on and off. Maybe if he were to go through the procedure, he might have gotten an infection or became more sick. I don't know what could have happened, but hey, I guess, on the plus side, my son gets to go to school, today.

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Love

   

Unprepared and Unqualified for Motherhood

I haven't made it a secret that I didn't want kids as I was growing up in other blog posts. Whenever I saw a baby or held one, I was one of those people whose eyes were huge and panicky. I never knew what to do with babies and couldn't wait to pass one off.

If I ever told you your baby was cute, in the past, I was probably only saying that to be nice and really didn't mean it. "Wow, Brittany, that was really harsh". Yeah, probably, but that was just who I was. Somewhere along the line, probably when my maturity started to set in, I was tolerant of babies and thought that maybe, just maybe, I would like to have some of my own.

Forgiveness

     I'm not the same person, today that I was yesterday or even a few years ago. when I was in high school, I could be a bully or just a brat, and I'm not talking about a sausage. There were things that I did, was mean to people who didn't deserve it, or took things out on people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

     Now, when I am full of anxiety or worry, I wake up from nightmares about things that happened in my high school years. After a while, I just don't want to go to sleep because I know that I will dream of a certain person and it would just be awful. I have learned that when I talk to that person and apologize, that those dreams go away.

     A few weeks ago, I reconnected with someone that I grew up with. I was not very nice to him, or at least in my adult life, I feel that I wasn't very nice. I messaged him and I apologized. Can you guess what he said?

     He didn't say, "You're right, you should apologize. You were mean and hurtful." What he said, instead had me in tears. "I don't remember you being mean or a jerk. All I remember are fun times and the bad memories never come to mind. Grace and Peace to you, my friend."

     Years of worry and stress and hanging on to the past just disappeared. The weight that I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders and I knew that I was going to be ok. Just as I was forgiven, I was also able to forgive myself. The Bible says in Philippian's 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

I was so relieved to get forgiveness, but later that day, I was like the man who was forgiven, but couldn't forgive his servant. See, I had seen forgiveness from an old friend and then later that day, I had gotten on my child for something that he did and I can't even remember what it was.

Matthew 18:21-35

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.^[a]

²³ “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold^[b] was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

²⁸ “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.^[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded

²⁹ “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

³⁰ “But he refused. Instead, he went of and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹ When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

    It was when my husband said, "Britt, do you think that you're overreacting that the realization had hit me. I was humbled and I asked my son for his forgiveness and that parable came to mind

    Forgiveness, it's more than saying sorry. We've been teaching my youngest that it's not enough to just say sorry. We have to stop the behavior that is requiring the forgiveness. He hasn't quite gotten it yet. Now, when he knows that he's in trouble he shouts out, "I'm sorry! Sorry means stop!" Well, yes, in a way, it does, but being sorry requires an effort to stop doing the offence. It means to repent because if you say sorry over and over again for the same thing, that sorry quickly loses its meaning. 

     In the same way, if you keep saying that your forgive someone, that means that you can't hold that thing over their head. It also means to forget- I mean, you can't always forget something, but if you truly forgive someone for something they did against you, you won't use that in future arguments. You won't bring it up from time to time or say, "I told you so" later. 

     When true apologies are made and true forgiveness is offered, burdens are lifted. I felt so light and happy after hearing from that friend. I had been so anxious about something that happened in the past, dwelling on the anger that I held then and how I transformed it into meanness or witchiness that I was reliving a nightmare over and over again. This friend didn't have to say the words, "I forgive you" for me to be freed. Just to hear that I didn't damage him or any of my other friends in offences that I remember being truly awful to only hear that they were very minor and the good that I did outweighed the bad, made me realize that I'm my biggest critic and enemy. That I am fear and anxiety. You see, I didn't need forgiveness from them, they didn't hold grudges. I needed forgiveness from myself. I needed to let the past go. I needed to remember that I'm not the same person that I used to be and that I can live in the present as a good, Christian woman. I can cast my burdens and fears and anxieties on the Lord for he cares for ME! 1 Peter 5:7

     If God can forgive us, then we should also allow us to forgive ourselves.

Thanksgiving

     So I really don't have a lot of time to post this because I'm supposed to be putting things together for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to remind everyone that this is a time to be thankful and not political.

     I was playing a game of free Bingo on Facebook yesterday where others were also playing and talking about the snow. I told everyone how magical I thought it would be if it snowed the night of the American Thanksgiving (Some people were from Canada and other countries) to welcome the Christmas holidays and also magical on Christmas Eve and morn. Well, because people are people and some like conflict, one of them says, "Not me, I'm Indian." At the time, the comment flew over my head and was thinking he was referencing the snow. Now that I've had a day to ponder over his comment I realized that he was either trying to be funny or he was legitimately offended by the Thanksgiving holiday because of his race.

     There is a lot to be angry about, and years ago the white people and other races of people came to America and little by little shoved the Native American race to a small corner/area of the United States. Yes, I agree that it was horrible. Thanksgiving may not have happened the way that we were taught in school, where we, the white people, were so glad to have the Native Americans (Indians) teach us how to survive our first few years in a land that we took over. The truth may suck, but you know, I don't think about Thanksgiving that way, anymore.

     I'm not one of those people who helped to push those over long ago. I'm not a slave driver, nor will I ever be. I'm just a woman who is thankful that she can prepare a large meal for her family. I'm grateful that my husband is able to provide for us so we can eat more than any human being needs to eat in a day. I'm glad that my husband has this day off so that we can spend time with him. I'm thankful that I have friends that I can welcome into my home because I have a roof over my head.

     Can't we just all agree that today is a special day to be thankful? "Well we can show that we are thankful everyday to the ones we love." Yes we can and we should! But really, just as we are thankful, aren't we glad that we are eating these special dishes that we only make like maybe once or twice a year? Proclaiming this day as a day of thanks gives us an excuse to indulge- and trust me, as a  dieter half of the year, it's nice to have an excuse and not feel guilty about eating four slices of pie because you must sample them all.

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Sleep

      A couple of weeks ago, I posted a blog about how to prepare for motherhood. Jokingly, I said that there really isn't a way to be totally prepared, but it you bought a cat, you might get a small taste of what it was like as far as lack of sleep was concerned. I thought it was funny, I hope you did too.

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Hair

When you see a pregnant woman walking down the street, you'll most likely spot her with her hand over her round belly, protecting and comforting the life that is growing inside of her. If she's very far along, she may even be supporting her back with her other hand as she also waddles along the sidewalk. Her hair is long and gorgeous and she's glowing.

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Foot Size

When we think of pregnancy symptoms, we always think about the pregnancy glow, morning sickness, and heartburn, but there are some side effects that some women don't know about and they wonder, "What on earth?"

We've already talked about how pregnancy can change your hair, the way you sleep, and even your eyes, but there are still more symptoms that no one talks to you about. The symptom/side effect that we'll talk about today is foot size!

What They Didn't Tell You About Pregnancy- Eyes

 So, you're pregnant, or you're thinking about becoming a new mommy or you know someone who's pregnant. In order to educate yourself, you probably typed, "pregnancy symptoms" or something similar.

There are some symptoms that have made women question whether or not they were pregnant, achy breasts, heartburn (I couldn't complain of heartburn without being asked if I was pregnant), mood swings, and so much more.

How to Prepare for Motherhood- Get a Cat

 

The thought of having children used to make me cringe.

I wasn't good with babies or little kids, but I was pretty good at working with teenagers. I used to joke that if I were to become a parent someday, I was just going to adopt teenagers. Who knows, maybe some day, I will.

Fighting the Winter Blues

     I don't know if it has just hit me earlier this year or if it's because my circumstances have been unusual, but I've been really bluesy, already, this year.

     I love the fall! I usually love the colors, the crisp air, the decorations, and costumes. I love taking my kids trick-or-treating. I usually become blue after Thanksgiving. But I've been bad at decorating the house. We just did our pumpkins, usually it's done sooner. I haven't been super excited like I normally am. Maybe it's because I've only watched Hocus Pocus once this year? *gasp!* yes, just once.

     For those of you who have never heard of the winter blues, it happens to people in the winter. We're not quite depressed, but more like melancholy. The days are shorter, exercise has dwindled, and the supply of vitamin D that you get from the sun has lost its source. I didn't realize that this was something that I experienced every year until I noticed a pattern. I began to see my doctor during the winter months because I lost motivation to do anything. I was tired all of the time and my temper was short. I had gone in believing that maybe I was having a thyroid problem, but it happened every single winter since my kids were born and nothing was every diagnosed. It might have happened sooner than that, but I was a hyperactive teenager, so maybe I didn't notice it as much.

    What I usually do when I begin to feel bluesy is take some vitamin D. That usually helps, but so does ice cream. And well, when you eat ice cream, weight creeps on and then I'm 500 lbs (a bit of an over exaggeration) and then I feel even worse than I did before.

     I need a hobby. I'm at home with the baby (ok, so he's 3, but he'll always be my baby- shadadoop awwwah, shadadoop da doop da dawww *insert Mariah Carey high note*) all day long. We do things together, but most of it is what he wants to do. "But you're the mom. Make him do what you want to do." *Mothers UNITE!* I do, sometimes, or sometimes I come to this computer and I type a blog that may or may not get read. However, when you get bluesy and you have anxiety, sometimes you just can't do something. Anxiety is weird. You want to do something, but your brains says, "No. Just stay right where you are. Worry about getting your house clean, but stay here and just look at it. Don't do a thing. Feel overwhelmed and panic when someone is about to come over. Everything will not be ok, but it's ok to just sit and worry."

     Nothing gets done!!! Then, at some moment, you are able to push through that fog and you say "Enough!" and you bring out the broom and sweep everything to the middle of the floor and you sweep things long forgotten out from under the couch then add it to that pile. You look at that pile and feel overwhelmed again. You sit down. You know that it has to get cleaned. After you put on an episode of Grey's Anatomy (because it will calm you down) you slowly pick up that pile. On occasion, you have turrets and yell at the dogs because when you went and picked the kids up from school, they got into the garbage can and pulled out paper plates and other trash items and chewed on them under the dining room table. You notice the pile when you're on the floor cleaning up the other pile so you sweep it into the pile that just began to look like something was being done, only to have it grow again. You feel defeated, but hey, you can do this! Just as you're almost done, the kids come home and dump their things everywhere. The baby is so excited, he grabs the nearest toy bin and dumps it. You let out an inhuman strangled cry. You apologize to the kids because they thought you were dying and you say, "It's ok. Mommy is just a little exasperated. Can you help?" The sensitive 5 year old will rub your back saying, "It's ok, Mama". She's trying to comfort you, so you try not to glare at her through the slits of your eyes because the mess you asked them to help with is still where it was left.

Not my house, but it may be if I don't get my butt into gear. (compliments of Hoarders)

     I'm not depressed, though. I'm bluesy. They house doesn't always look the way it does. I'm not always anxiety ridden and useless. It's cold outside. It's not like the normal hoody weather for this time of year. We have had to pull out our coats and we would have our mittens if we could find them. (Add buy gloves to the list of things we need.) The kids are restless, the dogs feel duped because I don't want to take them for a walk when it's 40* and dark outside. The dogs get into things. The kids play inside all day instead of outside. Things pile up and we're all just stir-crazy. I think that's enough to make any mommy a little crazy, if not just bluesy.

     Do you get the winter blues? Have you gotten them already?
   

   

Rejoining the Work Force

     So... I've been a stay at home mom for a little over three years. My baby will get screened for preschool (finally!) tomorrow. I've been told that once he's screened, it will take no time at all for him to be placed into a preschool, probably the same one that my daughter attended.
 
     While I have mixed emotions about him going, I'm going to get about three hours of being kid free each day. During that three hours, I thought it would be nice to have a work from home job... except those are hard to find. I've searched online and it's difficult to tell which ones are real and which ones are fake... except maybe if they are asking me to pay some money upfront, then I question if the company is real.

     "Hey, Brittany! I know a way that you can stay home and work. All you need to do is join .... and sell things!"--- I've thought about selling ItWorks, 31, Jamberry, and all of those other things, but the truth is, I have no connections and I don't want to spam everyone's Facebook pages asking for them to buy something that they don't really need. I've been on the receiving end of those pitches and I can't buy from everyone.

     I thought that I would try blogging for some extra income, but the only way that I know to make money on here is to put up ads and I only get paid per click. It starts to look suspicious if the same people click ads every time.  I enjoy blogging, so I'll probably keep up with this, but it's not really a  way to make money.

     I've done the whole scan my groceries bit and taking surveys, but I put a lot of effort in for minimum payout. I want the real deal. I want to be able to help bring extra income from home, in my pajama pants, for three hours a day. Is that too much to ask?

     So, if any of you know of a legitimate way to do that, let me know, will ya?

     For now, I will keep searching and continue writing. Maybe I'll finish my book sometime.

    Also, anyone want to illustrate my children's stories? I can maybe make you cookies?

Help a girl out!

Body Double? Really?

     I may be behind in my news, but today, I've seen several posts on Facebook about Melania Trump having a body double. Some of them joke that Melania left President Donald Trump or that she doesn't want to be seen around him so they have the double to keep his image up. Most of the posts are mocking and this is what I have to say about it.

     Really? Having a body double is smart, regardless if she has one or not. Those around may joke about it, but think of all the hate mail and threats that probably get sent to the White House everyday against the President, first wife, or children. If a threat has been made, wouldn't it be smart to have a body double in order to save the First Lady? Someone may say that it would be cowardly to have someone stand in for you when danger is eminent, but I don't think so. 

     If something were to happen to President's Trump's wife, he could be enraged, devastated, furious... all emotions that wouldn't give the president a clear head. How could someone lead a country while being emotionally unstable? Wouldn't it be better to be cautious?

     Body guards know what the are doing when they sign up for their job. They know that their lives could be placed in danger and many of them do it for honor. Not everyone recognizes what honor is, these days, but that's something that others in different countries or cultures literally live and die by. It isn't cowardly to assign someone to protect an important figure in our country. Besides, the body guard probably literally, signed up for it.

     Did you know that in Star Wars, Padme had a body double. She had her double to get information. She was used as a political decoy. That was smart.

     Celebrities have body doubles in movies. Why? Because there are scenes which can harm them. If a movie doesn't have some sort of suspense or danger for these action movies that come out, the movie can get kind of boring. Also, with the way that movies are made now, we as a society, like for what we watch to look realistic. The body double helps keep that reality while also keeping the celebrities safe. It's smart.

      Before we assume and cry out conspiracy, maybe we should just consider that some people have bad days. I can't imagine that being the First Lady is easy. Perhaps, Melania is just stressing out or maybe she missed her last beauty appointment. Or maybe, just maybe, she does have a body double. It really isn't our business...  unless we never see the First Lady again, and all we see is this body double, maybe then, we can raise some questions about where Melania is. But in the meantime, a body double is smart. 

Spiritual Gifts

     This is a topic that I would need to read more into. I'm not a scholar, but twice in a short amount of time, I have been told about spiritual gifts. The first was a discussion with my husband about the gift of speaking in tongues. He believes in it more than I do, but I don't discredit it either. The second gift was brought up to me after I posted about an insane dream that I had on Facebook. Someone asked me if I thought I might have the gift of prophecy. I joked that sometimes I joke about it, but the question had me thinking about spiritual gifts.

     1 Corinthians 12 is a book in the Bible that talks about spiritual gifts. 

Concerning Spiritual Gifts

12 Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. ² You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. ³ Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

⁴ There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distribuGtes them. ⁵ There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. ⁶ There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

     I've read this passage and studied it several times in high school for Bible Quizzing. This time, it speaks to me differently. No matter what work I do, what good that I do, I am only able to do this because God has allowed me to do it. God has allowed me to have the children that I have. If God didn't think that I could handle being a parent, he wouldn't have given me the awesome kids that I have. I'm not saying that all parents are fit to be parents- because yeah, there are some really bad parents out there, but I don't have to have this nice life with good kids if God didn't want me to have it.

⁷ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. ⁸ To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, ⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, ¹⁰ to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,^[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.^{[b] 11} All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

Unity and Diversity in the Body

¹² Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For we were all baptized by^[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. ¹⁴ Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

     Did you see who was mentioned above? Jews or Gentile (None Jew), slave or free: Think about the rich and the poor, the privileged and oppressed. This verse is including all of us. We are all one, not separate. It makes me laugh and sad when I see different denominations claim Christ when they also believe in segregation on prejudices. To the non-believer, the Bible doesn't call us to be separate or better than others. We are all the same.

¹⁵ Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸ But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

     This could be applied to jobs. I went to school to learn about Business Administration.  Just because I don't want to work at Mc. Donald's, it doesn't mean that I don't respect the people who do. I don't know how to make the food they make. Without them, I'm going to have to cook on the days that I don't want to.

     I don't know a thing about being an electrician. I can look up and see how to put in a light fixture or a new outlet, but that's not my expertise. If I did it on my own, I could set the house on fire from loose wires.

     I know how to use a plunger, but I don't know how to fix a pipe. Plumbers get at lot of crap (pun totally intended) for doing what they do. It's a hard and sometimes disgusting job, but what they do is important and if I need someone to wade through poop water because my toilet has backed up because a child decided to flush tons of Play-do or something else down the toilet. I'm going to need them to come help because I'm just going to make matters worse.

²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. ²⁸ And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. ²⁹ Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? ³⁰ Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues^[d]? Do all interpret? ³¹ Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.

 https://mintools.com/gifts-list.htm  put together a list of the different spiritual gifts that are listed throughout the Bible. If you click on the link and then each gift that's highlighted, you will be able to read a more detailed explanation of each gift. There list included:

Romans 12: Exhortation, giving, leadership, mercy, prophecy, service, and teaching.

 1 Corinthians 12: Administration, apostle, discernment, faith, healings, helps, knowledge, miracles, prophecy, teaching, tongues, tongues interpretation, and wisdom. 

 Ephesians 4: Apostle, evangelism, pastor, prophecy, and teaching.

Misc. Passages: Celibacy, hospitality, martyrdom, missionary, voluntary poverty. 

     I already told you that I'm not a scholar, so I won't explain these to you, but there is a lot to think about. I previously thought that my gift was hospitality and something else that has to do with helping out teenagers. Now, I'm not so sure, although I've been told that a person can have many spiritual gifts.

I did look up the spiritual gift of Prophecy and what it has to do with today.  This is what they say at Got Questions.org

Answer: The spiritual gift of prophecy is listed among the gifts of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:10 and Romans 12:6. The Greek word translated “prophesying” or “prophecy” in both passages properly means to “speak forth” or declare the divine will, to interpret the purposes of God, or to make known in any way the truth of God which is designed to influence people. Many people misunderstand the gift of prophecy to be the ability to predict the future. While knowing something about the future may sometimes have been an aspect of the gift of prophecy, it was primarily a gift of proclamation (“forth-telling”), not prediction (“fore-telling”).

     I do have crazy dreams and I've said many times that if I wrote them all down, I would have amazing storyline plots. What if those plots were given to me as a way to write stories about Christ? I'm already in the process of writing a book and have ideas for others. Is it a coincidence that I'm told this, now? Or what about how I've been writing this blog and have used it on occasion to share what God has said? In those ways, I'm already speaking forth. It may not be direct, but hey, Jesus told parables too! Maybe, in some way, these stories or posts will speak to someone and inspire them. I may not be predicting the future, but I certainly have a message to share!

     Have you found your spiritual gifts? In what ways have you used them?

If you haven't found out what your gift is and you want to, I found this test for adults and this one for teens at spiritualgiftstest.com .
      

My Son Doesn't Want Me Anymore

    Over 7 years ago, my first baby boy was born. He was two weeks early, which was totally ok with me. If he had been born on his due date, he would have had to share his birthday with a major holiday and well, that would have sucked.

    My water had broken at 9:00ish PM on a Tuesday night and he was born 16 hours later. His birth was so easy. I hard hardly felt any labor because I had my epidural early. Since I had to labor through the night, the nurses called the anesthesiologist in when he got into the hospital at about 3:00 AM. They wanted to be sure that I didn't have to wait for him later in case he was in surgery and couldn't come right away. I was able to sleep when I could, but because of the epidural, I had to have my blood pressure taken regularly. Between the nerves and the cuff squeezing my arm every few minutes, sleep was hard to come by, but it was ok, because I was going to have a baby a baby soon.

     

     When that baby was born, any doubts or fears went away. This precious bundle was created with love and he was my mini-me. My husband's and my life were going to be different from then on. I nursed this baby full time for a month and part time for a whole year. There were many sleepless nights and the laundry was constantly piling up due to diaper surprises (poop straight up the back) and spit up on all of our clothes. Despite it all, he was still a wonder and an amazement to us. I loved him so much and he was such a good baby that I had another baby so he would have someone to play with. 

     He and his sister were perfect. They were great company and wonderful to talk with. Each day they would do something to amaze me. Even when they would be naughty, they were able to do something to make everything better. Parenting isn't easy, but they made it so worth it... So we had another baby.

     There were three children now. Two boys and one girl. All of them are best friends and play together all the time. Before the youngest got old enough to be adventurous and move around, my oldest was still my buddy. Every once in a while, he still wants to play with me or snuggle, but these days, he's leading the parade and his brother and sister follow him.

     This year, my oldest is in second grade. There has been a BIG change in his attitude towards me. He doesn't want to hold my hand or snuggle. I'm not the first person that he goes to tell things to. He likes video games and more boyish things. Daddy is the person that he wants to talk to. Daddy is the person that he wants to hang out with. Daddy is the person that he wants to listen to. Now, I understand how my husband must have felt over the years when the kids all went straight to me. 

     My heart is a little sad and even frustrated at times. (Mostly when he doesn't believe that I too, know what I'm talking about. Daddy is all-knowing to him.) However, this is the time that I get to bond more with my daughter. She used to be daddy's little girl, (and she'll always be) but now she wants to do girly things. She doesn't want to play video games or train dinosaurs. She wants to watch My Little Pony and have tea parties. These are things that I can do. 

     My son might still need me from time to time and will want me again in the future. I'm not discouraged. I'm not mad or upset. I understand. It was just his time to break from me because he's not my little baby anymore. He's growing up and now he needs his daddy and wants to be one of the guys. It was part of my job to nurture him and shape him to be a kind boy. It's his daddy's turn to shape him into a good man.

A Case For an Overthinker

     I'm one of those annoying people who asks a lot of questions. I'm an intuitive person and I overthink things to death. It might have to do with some of my anxiety, but overall, I think I have a pretty good handle on things.... I guess.

     This is what my day looks like. I walked the kids to school, this morning. The school just put up a fence all around the school. There are only two ways to get into the school, now. If I were on the committee who decided to put that fence up, some questions would be raised.

Not the actual school

1. What happens if there is an emergency where the kids need to be evacuated? The kids and teachers can't escape through the field. Instead, everyone has to go out the same fence opening. If there is an actual fire, there really could be a potential explosion if the fire happened near the gas line. The kids can evacuate into the field, but what if they need more room than that? They'll either all get jammed into the two openings or they'll have to scale the fence to get out the fastest way possible.
2. So much for having the kids who walk get to school in time. In order to cut into the field, they'd have to climb the fence. The only way to get to the school now is for the kids to take the sidewalk and go ALL the way around. It's also more unsafe for them to go along that way because there are busy roads on all sides of the school. The door that my kids go through is also the door where all the parents drop their kids off for school. Many of those parents are in a hurry and aren't paying attention to the kids outside of their vehicle. It takes one kid to slip off the curb and get hit to have a lawsuit against you. If there was a way for them to cut through the field, all of this thought was for not.
3. Why didn't they make a couple of openings at the other ends of the fence? I understand wanting to keep strangers off of the property. Make gates that can close and have an employee chain it up once a reasonable amount of time has passed since the tardy bell.
4. Those geese inside of the field... My m-i-l works next to a school who has a coyote decoy out on the lawn. It deters the geese so there are none in the field making a poopy mess.

It doesn't have to be THIS menacing.

     This thinking is just from today. If you hired and overthinker, think of how many problems could be solved before they even happen?!?!?!

     There are times when my ability gets annoying. I'm extremely perceptive. I pick up on faces and if I'm brave enough, will question you about what it means. You may not even know that you did it, but if you don't answer me, I WILL create a whole dialogue from your perspective and mine. Watch out!

Example:

Me: What is that look supposed to mean?
Him: What look?
Me: You made a face.
Me: (Imitates him) I didn't make a face, Britt.
Me: Yes you did!
Me: (Imitates him) No, I didn't. You're...
Me: Paranoid? You did make a look and I don't think you agree with how I spoke with the kids.
Me: (Imitates him) It's not nice to tell the kids that a little man named the Tooth Napper is going to come steal the kids teeth if they don't brush them because he collects dirty teeth.
Him: You said it, not me.

     Just another reason to hire or pair up with an overthinker. Put someone in an interrogation room and we'll tell you if they are innocent or not. We're just that good at questioning and reading people.

     Overthinking does have its disadvantages; going to bed at an early time is one. there is nothing like lying in bed, exhausted, but then your brain wakes up. My husband hates this because then I ask him questions until 1:00 AM and I have to ask questions every which way to truly understand what is being said. I also like to over explain things. I don't know if that's my overthinking or my wanting you to know EXACTLY what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling.

     Overthinking, I think, also causes me to have trippy dreams or weird nightmares. If I kept a diary, I'd have many plots for book or movie ideas.

     However, even though overthinking can cause problems, including thinking too much about how a person perceives me or what I could have said or done differently after a situation, I still like my overthinking self. I think that I feel smarter and am a good problem solver. Am I? Aren't I? I guess I'll just have to think about that later.

     What type of quirks do you have? Are you an overthinker?