My Son Doesn't Want Me Anymore

    Over 7 years ago, my first baby boy was born. He was two weeks early, which was totally ok with me. If he had been born on his due date, he would have had to share his birthday with a major holiday and well, that would have sucked.

    My water had broken at 9:00ish PM on a Tuesday night and he was born 16 hours later. His birth was so easy. I hard hardly felt any labor because I had my epidural early. Since I had to labor through the night, the nurses called the anesthesiologist in when he got into the hospital at about 3:00 AM. They wanted to be sure that I didn't have to wait for him later in case he was in surgery and couldn't come right away. I was able to sleep when I could, but because of the epidural, I had to have my blood pressure taken regularly. Between the nerves and the cuff squeezing my arm every few minutes, sleep was hard to come by, but it was ok, because I was going to have a baby a baby soon.

     

     When that baby was born, any doubts or fears went away. This precious bundle was created with love and he was my mini-me. My husband's and my life were going to be different from then on. I nursed this baby full time for a month and part time for a whole year. There were many sleepless nights and the laundry was constantly piling up due to diaper surprises (poop straight up the back) and spit up on all of our clothes. Despite it all, he was still a wonder and an amazement to us. I loved him so much and he was such a good baby that I had another baby so he would have someone to play with. 

     He and his sister were perfect. They were great company and wonderful to talk with. Each day they would do something to amaze me. Even when they would be naughty, they were able to do something to make everything better. Parenting isn't easy, but they made it so worth it... So we had another baby.

     There were three children now. Two boys and one girl. All of them are best friends and play together all the time. Before the youngest got old enough to be adventurous and move around, my oldest was still my buddy. Every once in a while, he still wants to play with me or snuggle, but these days, he's leading the parade and his brother and sister follow him.

     This year, my oldest is in second grade. There has been a BIG change in his attitude towards me. He doesn't want to hold my hand or snuggle. I'm not the first person that he goes to tell things to. He likes video games and more boyish things. Daddy is the person that he wants to talk to. Daddy is the person that he wants to hang out with. Daddy is the person that he wants to listen to. Now, I understand how my husband must have felt over the years when the kids all went straight to me. 

     My heart is a little sad and even frustrated at times. (Mostly when he doesn't believe that I too, know what I'm talking about. Daddy is all-knowing to him.) However, this is the time that I get to bond more with my daughter. She used to be daddy's little girl, (and she'll always be) but now she wants to do girly things. She doesn't want to play video games or train dinosaurs. She wants to watch My Little Pony and have tea parties. These are things that I can do. 

     My son might still need me from time to time and will want me again in the future. I'm not discouraged. I'm not mad or upset. I understand. It was just his time to break from me because he's not my little baby anymore. He's growing up and now he needs his daddy and wants to be one of the guys. It was part of my job to nurture him and shape him to be a kind boy. It's his daddy's turn to shape him into a good man.