This summer, some little shifts, so subtle, I didn't notice them at first had been made. It's been such a burden and just a pain in the butt to put the kids to bed. After screaming and shouting, counting to five 100 times, the kids finally settled down and went to bed. It wasn't long, however, that I heard my bedroom door creak open. I had just put on a New Girl rerun episode on the tv and my son asked me if he could lay down with me. My first instinct was to say no and to make him go back to bed again, but I noticed an innocence in those eyes and told him he could, but he had to have his eyes closed and had to appear like he was sleeping. It wasn't long before I heard him giggling at the episode.
This was one of the first time in a long time moments that he has wanted to do any sort of snuggling or hanging out with me. Since then, he has told me little things like, "Mom, your pillow looks more comfortable than mine" or "Mom, your blanket looks comfy. Can I have it?" I usually respond with a no, but the questions like that kept coming and I realized that he was wanting to snuggle again, but didn't want to ask me. After all, what's the point of snuggling with mommy if she doesn't beg you to do it first?
His mission at 8, is to make snuggling seem uncool, but I know now that deep down inside, my little vulnerable guy is still just as sweet. I have to just read into his actions to really know what he wants.
When I thought that this was the time that he only wanted daddy, I'm finding that I'm still wanted, but have to be patient. I can't force it and have to wait for him to come to me, but that makes these little moments even more special. Now it's like a game, and well, games are fun!
I had a similar blog post! I am not the favorite either. However heartbreaking it can be at the time, they come back in those moments and you remember how much you still matter
ReplyDeleteIt is heartbreaking, but then daddy gets the snuggles that he's been missing for all the years that I had them. :)
DeleteI have 2 Daddy's girls and 1 mama's boy... I try to enjoy each moment because they are growing up. I have seen him need and want daddy and do man things but my girls come to mean to learn how to do women things too. I love each moment
ReplyDeleteWe have two boys and one girl. My daughter has always been a daddy's girl, but she comes to me for girl things too. My youngest is still a momma's boy, so I shouldn't complain too much.
DeleteWhat a sweet boy! This brought a tear to my eye. I'm definitely nervous for the days when my toddlers won't want their mommy anymore.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I like him alright! We're never really not wanted, just remember that. Mommy will always have a special place in their hearts.
DeleteGood to know it will come back. My boy still loves and wants me. Not looking forward to independence and daddy centered ness. Haha
ReplyDeleteI think its Jocy you have to worry about.
DeleteLove this. They definitely go through phases Haha. My first born was mummy’s boy then Daddy’s boy so I can fully relate to this. Great post.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteAw, it's hard when they grow up. My kids are older, but they always come back for some snuggles now and again.
ReplyDeleteHe's now decided that it's ok to snuggle with me as long as we're out in public and it wasn't my idea. haha.
DeleteYour story made me very emotional. Yes they always come back for more but under their own term. Great post.
ReplyDeleteIt's so great to have him back from time to time.
DeleteAwww. Nice read. Great bond. I have 2 daughters and they fight over my attention its crazy.... Shouldn't complain as they won't want to know soon I expect!
ReplyDeleteMy youngest had totally made up for his brother. I think the air I breathe is 90% the carbon dioxide that he breathes out of his mouth. I get so many hugs and kisses and face pats, it's actually exhausting at times.
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ReplyDeleteEvery moment must be kept tight and lived with all of us because they are unique moments that will never come back.
Absolutely!
DeleteSometimes, you just need a mom's cuddle. Tr4ust me, I also join my mom for a cuddle sometimes...always feels so peaceful with mom.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. Moms are the best!
DeleteAww!! That is so sweet. Yep, all part of growing up. Next they will stop calling you Mommy and start calling you Mom or Mother because Mommy is so uncool. How the world is changing.
ReplyDeleteMy youngest still calls me mommy, while my middle child calls me mother or mama, and to my oldest I'm MOM! or Ma. My daughter is quite the romantic and sometimes speaks like shes from the past. haha.
DeleteAww. It is such a sweet post. Boys are deep down mamma boys. Enjoy the time with him as much as you can.
ReplyDeleteYesterday, he let me make him sit with me and we talked about school and his likes and dislikes. It was so nice!
DeleteOh man. I'm not a mom but I can definitely understand feeling this way. Thanks for sharing such a moving post with us.
ReplyDeleteI feel this way with my nephew and niece, too. My niece still likes to plop her little toddler behind on my lap whenever I sit down, but my nephew likes to make a game of running away from me. haha.
DeleteYou two are absolutely amazing. Kids bring a joy to us unmatched by anything.
ReplyDeleteThank you! My son is wonderful. Some of the time he's a total stinker and doesn't listen for anything and other times, he's so funny and caring.
DeleteToo cute, glad he has come around and enjoys snuggling with mama again. Definitely moments to treasure.
ReplyDeleteThey're very sweet moments. :)
DeleteIt's so hard when the kids seem to grow out of needing that physical comfort. I'm glad I still have one left who likes to snuggle. (Glad yours secretly still wants to snuggle, too!)
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I'll do when my youngest stops wanting to.
DeleteSoak it all in as they grow up too fast. He is so adorable by the way. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I kind of think so too!
DeleteOh I'm not looking forward to them pretending snuggling is uncool... not ready for that! My oldest is 7 and still going strong!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome!
DeleteGames are definitely fun. And it is hard when you feel your child just wants the other parent and not you around. Good that you have found a way to still get him to engage with you. I can see he loves you for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt's got to be hard for you dads. My youngest is such a mama's boy and makes a huge deal about snuggling only with me and I have to encourage him snuggle with dad, too. Fortunately, my daughter is a daddy's girl and now my oldest gravitates to him now, as well.
DeleteThis is so sweet. I love the way you handled this!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Sometimes, I'm not always this smooth.
Deleteaww this is so cute, I love a good snuggle. Great way to destress.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! Love my baby snuggles! (all my kids are still my babies lol)
DeleteAwww...sorry you are feeling this way but kids go back and forth between parents often! My kids used to do that. It's hard not feeling like the "favorite" but you will be again! xo
ReplyDeleteIt definitely makes me sentimental, but it's Daddy's turn. :)
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