Back to School Clarification

     A couple of days ago, I posted a blog about how I was ready for my kids to go back to school. While I had hoped for it to be relatable, I got some feedback from a few who said things like, "I enjoy my kids company," or "Oh, wow. I'm already tired. I hope that my life isn't like this when my child is born." or something similar to that.

     I wanted to clarify some things. When it comes to parenting, there are going to be some weak days and not everyday is going to be exhausting or makes you so crazy that you're ready for your kids to go back to school. Trust me, when my kids do go back to school, I'm going to be bored and wondering what I can do to pass the time. I'm going to actually miss my kids.

     You know what, though? I miss my kids when I'm out watching a movie with other adults or when we are hosting a game night. Those little creatures are a part of me and I've seen them almost every day since the day that they were born. On the nights when they stay the night at grandma's or when my husband and I get away for a night, I miss them. They are ALWAYS put in conversation, somewhere. Most of my blog posts involve my kids.

     Being a mother can be exhausting and sometimes you can get to a point where you feel like a failure, but it doesn't mean that you are. The fact that you feel that way, says how much you care about them. On those nights, it's ok to give the kids an early bed time. I don't personally drink, but sometimes it's ok to have that glass of wine or eat that pint of ice cream. Just because you became a mommy, doesn't mean that you had to stop taking care of yourself or stop feeling frustrated when frustration is warranted.

     I wrote a post last week about a book I read by Jennifer Fulwiler called One Beautiful Dream. There is a section in that book where the grandparents are talking and they tell her something about how moms have it harder today. In their day, their moms kicked them out of the house and they didn't return until dinner. They also had big families and everyone there pitched in. They all had a support system.--- If you haven't read this book, yet, I highly suggest it.

     We have dad's for a reason. They are here to help lift the load. If you are in a single parent family, don't be afraid to ask for help. God might have put people in your life for a reason, so don't take them for granted. I'm off topic, again.

     Anyways, I might be ready for school to start, but when it does, it's going to be so refreshing for all of us, even for those who homeschool. Kids thrive under order and schedule because they know what's going to happen next. They may resist it at first, but it always seems to get better.

     So, I'm ready for school to start, but once it does, I'm going to miss those guys and it won't be long before we're all ready for the next school break. Motherhood is basically a time of conflicting emotions, which is why I believe that it was made for women- we can handle that sort of thing.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

     I just read a book by Jennifer Fulwiler that literally could have been about my life, called One Beautiful Dream

     

 In this book, she writes her story about her journey to becoming a published author while being a stay-at-home mom of six children. She writes about feeling inadequate with being a mother, a teacher, and a writer and how she overcomes those feelings by including her family in her decisions and how thinking differently helped her home life. This is a book that I recommend anyone who has ever done anything to read.

     As a mom who stays home, I've wondered if what I do matters. I see my kids and I wonder if the way that I'm raising them is going to help them in life or make them little serial killers in the future. (Since they are playing nicely and aren't skinning animals, I think it's safe to assume they're going to be ok). There really isn't a right way to raise kids, especially when they all have their own individual personalities. My daughter, for instance, wants to be a mother when she grows up. (One good parent point for me) My oldest son wants to be a video game designer (maybe I let him spend too much time on video games) and when he's done with that, he wants to be the president of the United States. I'm a creative person and not a teacher, I find house cleaning abhorrent, (I get cleaned what needs to be clean, I just detest it in the process), and I don't like to play toys with my kids the way that they want to play. That doesn't make me a bad mom, though.

      Jennifer explains many of the things that I've talked about and have wondered in her book and says it better than I could. I highly recommend that you read it!

      I've had this blog for over a year and still don't consider myself a writer. My whole life I've written stories and have started writing books and am almost finished, but still don't think of myself as an author. In the book, Jennifer says that everyone has something that fuels them whether it be arts and crafts, writing, organization, or hospitality. She calls this your blue flame. This is the thing that energizes you and gives your life fire. You see, the blue flame in fire is the hottest source of the fire and is where it originates. We can be stay-at-home moms or women or men who work, but we all need something to fuel us. Even if we are good at what we do, we can still burn out, which is why she says to find that thing that fuels you.

      Find your niche- that's something I've been reading about when creating a blog. My blog has been a smorgasbord of topics, therefore not quite how it should be according to the "blogging experts", but this is my life and things that I enjoy. I may not think of myself as a writer or author because someone hasn't said, "Girl, you're a writer,"but that doesn't mean it isn't so. Jennifer wrote and kept writing and she called herself a writer even though it took her five years to finish her first book. I just need to keep on doing what I love. I'm writing, (Ok, maybe typing) I'm publishing online, I'm getting the things in my brain on paper and into words, I'm a writer.

      Keep on persevering, keep doing what you love! If you keep doing it, you are it. I'm a writer, you're an artist, you're a teacher, you're a caregiver, you're a minister. Embrace who you are, weirdness and all. You don't need someone to tell you who you are, just DO IT!

Have you found your blue flame? What gets you energized?

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