Be Your Own Person and Not Someone Else

   

  Today, I found one of my daughter's toy princesses. This figuring is a small, fits in the palm of your hand Elsa from the Disney movie Frozen. This is one of her many dolls that have interchangeable dresses. You just push the bottom in like a clothes pin and it will open up the dress and the princess can slip right out.

     



       When I found her, she was wearing the dress that belongs to Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The first thing I thought was, "Girl, this isn't your color."

       Immediately, after that, I thought, "I shouldn't be so mean and judge" but then another lesson came to mind.

Not Everything is made For Everyone

      Look at Elsa: She's very pale skinned, her hair is platinum blonde, and if she were a real human, this color would wash her out. The dress is very pretty, but it wasn't made for her.

       This doesn't mean that she's ugly, but she has other things that she could wear, like blue or green, that would suit her better.

      I'm not saying that she shouldn't wear this dress. Maybe it's more comfortable than her other dresses or maybe she likes the color better. And this isn't really about looks, anyways.

      I know that sometimes, we want our kids to be just like us and do things like play sports or learn to play the piano. We shouldn't put it on them if it isn't something that they want to do, though. Our intentions may be good, like "I want them to have structure" or "I want them to do what I couldn't do", but really, you should see how your kid feels about it.

      Maybe you really liked to play football and you want your child to follow in your footsteps, but your child just wants to swim or dance. Don't shame them for not wanting to do what you want them to do. They aren't you! No matter how many similarities there are between you, they are still their own person.

Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean that you have to, too.

      How often do we let our kids wear things just because everyone else is wearing them? In a world where we have to be careful because anyone can look up things about you, we need to be careful with how we're dressing our kids. There really is a need for censorship.

     Yes, that mini skirt and low cut blouse looks cute, but it's not made for little girls. Even teenage girls shouldn't be wearing them because they should be more focused on learning in school and building healthy relationships and not trying to catch all of the guys attentions. Your kids can choose what they want to wear when they are legally an adult.

      Set some boundaries and follow through on them. I mean, Elsa shouldn't be wearing a strapless dress when her land is frozen. It's impractical, put on some sleeves! Yes, Belle is the most beautiful and best princess, but Elsa, you have your own style and qualities too. You don't need to be like Belle.

Conclusion

     I may have pushed this lesson a bit, I blame it on my ever thinking/wandering mind. I always got in trouble in English class, or rather any class where I had to have coherent thoughts written down in the way that someone else wanted me to write- which you know, that really stifled my creativity. Someday, I'll show them.

      You don't have to be like everyone else. You are your own person. Just do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't break the law. I mean, we can't all walk around naked just because clothes confine us, but you know, I wouldn't anyways because- cold. Brrrr!

      Don't suffocate your kids with things that you want them to do. Instead, allow them to do some things that they enjoy, but also, don't let it be a burden on you, either. I mean, does your child really need to be in art, soccer, dance, and learning to be the American Ninja Warrior all at once? No!

      Lastly, don't worry too much about how you are as a parent. We all do things differently. Some of us believe that a quick, in control spanking or time-out helps their kids with disciplining and structure while others believe that all things can be done well with incentives and love. Kids are all different and maybe they need more tough love than gentle love or maybe they need more words of affirmation than words of disappointment. There's a reason why we call it parenting style because things work differently for everyone.

     
Anyways, be your own person and not someone else.

A Case Against Adult Television

   A few days ago I wrote about the annoyances of kid's television. Naturally, I felt like the next thing to do is write about a case against adult television.

    Actually, I felt the need to write this after glimpsing an article scrolling across my Yahoo page feed. The topic was about the effects of the Netflix show, "13 Reasons Why." I have not watched this show, but from what I've seen in the previews, the show is about a girl who commits suicide. Before she does, she makes 13 different tapes or cds or some way for 13 of her peers/family to listen to why she was committing suicide, those reasons being them.
    It would have been really easy for me to sit down and binge watch this show, but I held off on it. I started to see different posts on Facebook with reasons why to not watch this show, most of them were because the show glorified suicide. It made the act of suicide sound like a way to finally get attention, even if you weren't going to be there, people were going to remember you anyway, especially if that person as involved. People were going to remember all of the good things about you and then they would know how much that you were taken for granted. Since the show came out, there have been a few teenage suicides that were linked to the show.  I don't want to go into debate about suicide, but I do want to say this- If your reason to commit suicide is so that others will finally appreciate you, what good will that do if you're not here? Don't make a permanent decision based on a momentary whim.

    13 Reasons Why isn't the only show that should raise some concerns or censorship. There are so many shows that are out there that make you wonder, "Should everyone have access to this show?". I like to watch crime shows and doctor shows. I'm usually able to solve a crime before the people on the show do. (Although I'm sure they made it that way for everyone since they make clues very obvious to us and show us what the detectives don't see.) We've all seen it where the crime is solved and forensics tells you EXACTLY how the crime was done and that the body only needed to soak in acid a few more hours before the body was completely unrecognizable and all DNA had been wiped clear. Should we really allow all people to be able to watch this show? Who knows which person is going to go out and accept the challenge of How to Get Away With Murder?

    I also mentioned that I love to watch doctor shows. Thanks to Grey's Anatomy, I think that I could perform an apendectomy. Should I? No way!!! I have not gone to school to be a doctor. I have no license for that. I wouldn't give someone a fancy haircut or do taxes without one. Why would I practice medicine? I know that I can't perform surgery, but does someone else know that they can't just do a tracheotomy on someone in the middle of nowhere just because they saw it done?

    Another thing that I think should be addressed is the topic of sex. (Gasp! she wrote sex!) When I was growing up, the most about what I knew about sex was that I was created from it and what I might have occasionally read from a romance book. I know that teenagers were having sex in high school, it was evidenced by all of the teen pregnancies in my school. Sex on screen really started to flare once television become less censored and the internet was easy to access. Is it any coincidence that kids are starting their sexual conquests at such an early age?

    I was boy crazy in junior high and high school. That isn't a secret. I didn't know if I could get over my loneliness without a boy to crush on me back. However, I didn't need a boy in order to make my choices. I didn't make my choices based on a boy either. Once Bella met Edward, her focus was to become a vampire just like him. She wouldn't be completely happy until she was a vampire so she could be with him forever.  50 Shades of Grey- Ana couldn't focus on her job without her boyfriend constantly messaging her. She had to always check in with him or he'd go into violent tirades. Instead of wanting to be with him because she thought that he was smart, kind, and had a great personality, she was addicted to him by his sexiness and intrigued by his unfamiliar sexual acts which were an underlying need to control something and someone since his life had not always been controlled by him and he needed to fill that void. She allowed him to hurt her and instead of running away and staying away, she went back to him because lust felt like love.

    These shows/books make for good entertainment, but do we really want our children to think that it's ok to be led into relationships because it makes them emotionally gooey? Is it ok that they want to be in a relationship because they feel like they are needed and continue to make excuses about their significant other because they think that they can fix that person? Is it ok to fuel a weird fascination that could empower sociopaths? Pyschopaths? Maybe a rise in mental illness is because tv shows have become so realistic that people can't filter the difference between facts and fiction? Good and evil? The moral integrity of this world has become unbalanced and everyone makes excuses for it. "That's just how the world operates today!" It may be, but should it?

    I know that this won't make a change in the way that tv is perceived and I know that even though I'm writing about the evils that some shows present, I will watch them too because they are good entertainment and binge worthy.Might I suggest that we keep these shows to adult eyes only? Can we filter what our kids watch? I know that it's not completely possible to keep everything out of our children's view, there is internet and friend's houses. If they really wanted to, they could find a way to watch something they shouldn't. Can we all just agree to keep their eyes out of it when we can?

    Now, once the toddler has gone down for his nap, I think I shall watch Grey's Anatomy for a few hours...