Listen to Your Mother

Listen to your mother!

Listen to your mother.

Those are 4 simple words, but they hold so much power to them.

Parenting- Quick Reaction, Wrong Response

My oldest just turned ten and my youngest is five. I'm at the point in my life when my parenting tactics have to be readjusted to fit the appropriate situation without losing my credibility with them.

Having a ten year old can start to be a little trying since he's becoming more private and doing things on his own. It won't be long before he's hanging out with his friends more than hanging out with us and peer pressure is going to be something that he's going to have to deal with and there are going to be choices that he's going to make that are going to be good or bad.

As parents, we're going to want to maintain control, but at some point, our kids are going to have to learn to do things by themselves, and we're going to have to let them so they can grow up to be responsible adults.

Sometimes, the way that we handle things can have a lasting impression and the way that we do it can have positive or negative consequences.

What Can You Learn From a Broken Washer Machine?

What's the Problem? 

        Twice now, my washer machine has broken and each time, my husband and I decided that we were going to get a new washer so I could wash clothes without a hassle.

       The first time it broke, my washer machine kept filling up with water and wouldn't stop. In order to get it to stop filling up, I had to turn the water off in the whole house. Thankfully, it went onto the next cycle and the water drained. Unfortunately, this happened for hours and water had poured all over the basement floor and the blankets that I had set there to wash (stomach flu season) got soaked.
       I had to get those washed or they would mold and be ruined. So I was extremely happy that when I turned the water back on, the washer didn't start to fill up again. I still had to drain and spin out the load that was already in there, so I put it on the spin cycle and it spun all the way out. I transferred the clothes to the dryer and took a chance and washed another load, but this time I stayed to watch it.

       The same thing had happened again. The water kept rising even after the next cycle began and the washer began agitating the clothes. I went to the main water valve and turned it off again and the water stopped. It seemed that as long as it stopped filling, it wouldn't start again until it was time to rinse. Thus, my journey began when I had to babysit my washer machine in order to get it to work properly.

     


        My husband and I both decided that this was too big for me to fix or want to try (I like to fix the things around my house) and that we would buy a new washer.

        I began cleaning up and around the basement so there would be room to install the new one when we bought it. While I was cleaning I put on a smaller load of laundry. To my AMAZEMENT, the washer machine worked on its own. I tried the large size load, (I normally do my laundry on super mode because we have a ton of laundry) and that worked too. I called my husband up and told him that we could wait on looking for a new washer.

       The second time it broke and I figured that the part to fix it was probably worth more than what the washer machine was worth, happened a couple of days ago. The washer would start it's load, but then the whole power box turned off every time the washer was to begin agitating and spinning.

       Naturally, I tried troubleshooting it, ruling out what the problem could be and figured it was the motor. So, again, instead of buying a new part that was probably going to cost a large amount and then possibly break the most important part of the machine, we decided to get a new one.

      So I'm back downstairs in the basement, trying to clean up that area. It's a huge mess. I've fallen behind on laundry from babysitting the washer before and from working on the blog full time. Since I know that the washer machine will drain, I figured I should try to get out as much access water as I could because it would be a mess to move it if it was full. I tried to put the drain cycle on (different from the spin and agitating cycle) and it went straight to spin and turned off.

      Well I'm an expert now on how to make my washer do things it doesn't want to do, so I spun the knob around to the wash cycle and turned the washer back on. I let it fill with water (because at this point it's starting to smell from everything sitting for a couple of days) and to my chagrin, the washer starts doing a full cycle including agitating and spinning.

     




       To test it out to see if it still works, I put on a small load and guess what.... It worked!

       Naturally, I have to tell my husband because we were going to call a guy who sells washers and well, we may not have to. I told him that it was working, but I would try a second one just to be sure.... and it worked too!

       So what have I learned about this experience?

Just because it seems broken, it doesn't mean that it can't be fixed. 

     How many times have we thrown something out just because it was broken? How many times have we given up on someone or something because we didn't want to work on our problem?

     I've had problems with this washer before. It was with our house when we bought it four years ago. At the time, I wanted to see if I could fix it because we didn't have a lot of expendable income coming in and I thought that our money could go towards something better than a new machine.

    With the help of YouTube and the GE website, I was actually able to diagnose the problem and fix it. It turned out, all it needed was a lid switch and that was an easy job to do, once we got it.

     The second time it happened, I was able to diagnose that too and get it fixed. I can't remember what the problem was, but I did it, with a little help from my husband because I needed the muscle to move the washer.

Once you've fixed the problem, you gain some peace.

     Not only did I feel overjoyed that it started working again, I felt accomplished and content. I did something with my two hands and fixed it. We wouldn't need to pay more than what we needed to and I knew that it was going to work for a while longer.

     When we have problems with people, parenting, or married life, we should first try to work it out. Of course there are exceptions like being in an abusive relationship, in which case, find someone who could help you get out, but in other cases, there most likely was a misunderstanding.

      Sit down and talk with them and listen. I'm guilty of shouting when I want to be heard, but I know that can damage relationships more than anything. Really listen, really talk things out. If a counselor can help, let them.

      The same thing applies with your children, especially young ones who don't know how to verbally tell you what is wrong. Sit down and talk with them and listen too. When you're finished, try to come up with a solution and ways to apply it. I bet you'll feel at peace afterwards.

Sometimes, you just need to be ready to throw in the towel and give up in order to get results.

       Maybe my washer machine knows what's really happening... I'm kidding, I know it doesn't. But how is it that coincidentally that each time we were ready to get a new washer machine, it decides to randomly start working again?

      Maybe it needed time to readjust. Actually, when you look in the manuals or look online, it tells you that you need to try to reset your washer. Sometimes it's as simple as lifting the lid and closing it several times and other times, you need to restart it and try an empty load so it re-calibrates. I'm guessing that is what I did when it decided to work again, today.

      In relationships, getting to that point when you're about to give up, that can really open the other person's eyes. It may just be enough to get them to see that what was happening was something that bothered you more than they thought it did. Even if you told them, sometimes its when they see it happening they realize.

     Maybe then, they'll take action and know that it's time to change.

If it's really broken and it can't be fixed, get rid of it.

      Sometimes, things can't be fixed. Throw out that washing machine and get a new one.

       Obviously, or I hope that it's obvious, don't throw out your kids. In a parenting scenario, if something like spanking or time outs don't work, throw out that strategy and try parenting with a different approach. Redirect them, love them. Not all strategies work.

       With adult relationships, there can be very toxic relationships. There are many people who are master manipulators who know the game and will change for a little time, but if they keep repeating it, they're broken. Leave that relationship. In cases of abuse, please get help. It's not easy, in fact Danielle Steele writes a book all about that.

       This is actually a very good book. It was frustrating and engaging and an emotional roller coaster read. In this book, she explains how some women, especially those who were physically abused, don't realize that they are in an abusive relationship when they are in one. I recommend the book, immensely!

Conclusion

       All that we're saying, is give things a chance. Ok, so not really. I know that eventually, we're going to need to replace our washer machine and I was embarrassed that I had to ask my in-laws to use their machine because I couldn't wash my kids uniforms at home. (another reason that I think uniforms are unnecessary.)

      I'm annoyed that I cleaned my basement when I could have been working on other things. On the plus side, though, at least it's one less thing that I have to worry about when it does come time to replacing the washer.

      On the downside, I cut my hand on something in the basement, so I might contract gangrene or tetanus and no, I'm not going to the doctor for a shot unless my hand starts to die and fall off or I start to mutate. I'm just going to rub some dirt in it- you got me again. I'm just going to wash my hand and bandage it, maybe put on some Neosporin. Maybe someone has an oil for that?

      But really, sometimes, a blog post might come out of something totally unexpected and maybe, you can learn something from a broken washer machine.

We're Always Running Late

 

     Today was one of those days where no matter how prepared I was, my kids (*cough*daughter*cough*) were pokey and yet again, we were late for school. One of these days, I'm going to just say, "Screw it, you're not going to school today."

     It seems that when I asked God for more patience (not my spiritual  gift) when I was younger, he must have laughed up in heaven and was like, "I will grant you the thing of your desire, but first, you must wait years for it to happen. You will have three children and each one will give you a little more practice towards perfecting patience. Only after they leave the house after they've grown and learn to live on their own, will you see that you have mastered it."

     I know that God isn't some genie up in heaven who grants wishes or a guru who spouts riddles. Patience is something that I've had a difficult time grasping. Part of it might be because I probably have ADHD (I still haven't seen a doctor to be diagnosed, but my son's doctor said it's more than likely), but the other part is that I want things done right now.

       At what point, do you stop your kids from doing the things that they should be responsible for (ex: getting themselves dressed, socks and shoes put on, and just doing what they are told) before you start doing it for them? When I ask them to get ready for the billionth time and they still only have one pant leg on after asking them for five minutes to get the other one on, when should I just walk over there and do it for them?

      My husband says that the kids listen to him better because they know that if they don't do it, he will, but if I do that, then I know that they won't put their pants on because they know that I will do it for them. Maybe I'm just too nice. (who just laughed? I can be nice and caring behind my obnoxious, crazy screaming. I mean, it might make the neighbors change their pants, too, but my kids shouldn't be confused by what I want them to do.)

      It's my kid's responsibility to dress themselves now. They're six and eight. I still dress my four year old, but he's going to have to learn to do that on his own, too. If I do it for them, am I just enabling them to not learn to do it at all? What about them tying their shoelaces or when they put their shoes on the wrong feet. No one tells them that they suck at life for not putting them on incorrectly, the blame goes to me. So what if they won't change them to the other foot or tie them. Do I do it for them? What have they learned? Why do I need to have extra work loaded onto me?

   

     So yes, we were late today. Why? Because I'm not dressing them anymore and it's frowned upon for my kids to show up to school naked. Maybe if they were allowed to wear something they wanted to wear, instead of uniforms, we would have made it on time.

What does your day look like? Is it similar to mine? How do you get your kids to get dressed when they are asked?