When I found her, she was wearing the dress that belongs to Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The first thing I thought was, "Girl, this isn't your color."
Immediately, after that, I thought, "I shouldn't be so mean and judge" but then another lesson came to mind.
Not Everything is made For Everyone
Look at Elsa: She's very pale skinned, her hair is platinum blonde, and if she were a real human, this color would wash her out. The dress is very pretty, but it wasn't made for her.
This doesn't mean that she's ugly, but she has other things that she could wear, like blue or green, that would suit her better.
I'm not saying that she shouldn't wear this dress. Maybe it's more comfortable than her other dresses or maybe she likes the color better. And this isn't really about looks, anyways.
I know that sometimes, we want our kids to be just like us and do things like play sports or learn to play the piano. We shouldn't put it on them if it isn't something that they want to do, though. Our intentions may be good, like "I want them to have structure" or "I want them to do what I couldn't do", but really, you should see how your kid feels about it.
Maybe you really liked to play football and you want your child to follow in your footsteps, but your child just wants to swim or dance. Don't shame them for not wanting to do what you want them to do. They aren't you! No matter how many similarities there are between you, they are still their own person.
Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean that you have to, too.
How often do we let our kids wear things just because everyone else is wearing them? In a world where we have to be careful because anyone can look up things about you, we need to be careful with how we're dressing our kids. There really is a need for censorship.
Yes, that mini skirt and low cut blouse looks cute, but it's not made for little girls. Even teenage girls shouldn't be wearing them because they should be more focused on learning in school and building healthy relationships and not trying to catch all of the guys attentions. Your kids can choose what they want to wear when they are legally an adult.
Set some boundaries and follow through on them. I mean, Elsa shouldn't be wearing a strapless dress when her land is frozen. It's impractical, put on some sleeves! Yes, Belle is the most beautiful and best princess, but Elsa, you have your own style and qualities too. You don't need to be like Belle.
Conclusion
I may have pushed this lesson a bit, I blame it on my ever thinking/wandering mind. I always got in trouble in English class, or rather any class where I had to have coherent thoughts written down in the way that someone else wanted me to write- which you know, that really stifled my creativity. Someday, I'll show them.
You don't have to be like everyone else. You are your own person. Just do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't break the law. I mean, we can't all walk around naked just because clothes confine us, but you know, I wouldn't anyways because- cold. Brrrr!
Don't suffocate your kids with things that you want them to do. Instead, allow them to do some things that they enjoy, but also, don't let it be a burden on you, either. I mean, does your child really need to be in art, soccer, dance, and learning to be the American Ninja Warrior all at once? No!
Lastly, don't worry too much about how you are as a parent. We all do things differently. Some of us believe that a quick, in control spanking or time-out helps their kids with disciplining and structure while others believe that all things can be done well with incentives and love. Kids are all different and maybe they need more tough love than gentle love or maybe they need more words of affirmation than words of disappointment. There's a reason why we call it parenting style because things work differently for everyone.
Anyways, be your own person and not someone else.
